$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize