i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize