You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
