He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
