i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Randomize
