you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
