Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
