I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
