so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
