I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
