So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
