worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
