new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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