One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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