Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize