in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
