after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
