Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
