I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
