She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
