i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
