Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
