I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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