Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
