I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
