make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
