I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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