so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
