yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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