question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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