so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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