So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize