i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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