Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
