Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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