Your mouth is God's brothel.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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