Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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