spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
