I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
