does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just gargled with NyQuil
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
