is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
