I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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