I like my sex mixed with concussions.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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