I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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