Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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