just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
