how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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