I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
