Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
