I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
