In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
