just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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