I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
