If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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