literally had 100 drinks last night.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Are these your boobs on my camera?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
