she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
