We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
