First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
