What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
