I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
