i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize