ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
