What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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