I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
