i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
